Taking with her the riches of a love-filled life, Gloria Firmage passed away peacefully in her sleep on June 11, 2022, her hardy body at last yielding to good old age. She left life here as she lived it, with children and other family around her, her own beautiful paintings adorning the walls of her home (her home away from home), and music-one of the many gifts she possessed and shared with others- playing in alternation with the birdsong outside her window.
Born in Provo, Utah, Gloria attended Provo High School, where she met her husband-to-be of 34 years, Edwin B. Firmage. Together, Gloria and Ed raised seven children: Ed, Miriam, Sarah, Zina, Joseph, Jonathan, and David. Another daughter, Rebecca, passed away shortly after birth.
Together, Gloria and Ed explored the world. After graduating from BYU (he in history, she in psychology), they set up home on the south side of Chicago, where Ed attended law school. Ed’s career then took them to Columbia, Missouri, where he taught law, and to the White House, where he served as a White House Fellow under Vice President Hubert H. Humphrey. Ed’s career later took them to Concord, Massachusetts, where they celebrated the American Bicentennial, in 1975; to Jerusalem, Israel, in 1982; and to Canterbury, England, in 1987. In 1971, while serving as Visiting Scholar at the United Nations in Geneva, Ed was invited by the Russian government to tour the Soviet Union. Gloria with him.
Gloria and Ed were partners in many ways that went beyond the ordinary and that sometimes took on qualities of the heroic. One example was the epic battle to defeat the US Air Force’s plan to base the new MX missile in the Great Basin of Utah and Nevada-a plan that would have destroyed the ecosystem and life ways of much of the American West. Together, Gloria and Ed founded Utahns United Against MX, a broad-based, ecumenical organization that brought together the many different constituencies that would be harmed by the Air Force’s plan. In 1980, thanks in large measure to Ed and Gloria’s lobbying efforts, the LDS Church spoke out strongly against the missile. Incoming president Ronald Reagan officially terminated the plan later that year.
Gloria also helped her children in their causes, as she had Ed. In 1989, for example, she began working with her son, Joseph, then just 19, to realize his dream of a software platform that would enable non-programmers to create their own custom applications. In 1993, Novell bought the company Joseph founded and that Gloria helped to build, launching Joseph on a high-profile career that led to other, even bigger ventures, most notably US Web, an early leader in corporate website development.
Busy people-and Gloria was perpetually busy-always seem to find more, not less, time for more to do. Despite the demands of her activism and responsibilities at home, Gloria found time and strength to be of service in her local LDS ward, where she was for many years Relief Society president. Thanks to her long experience outside Utah, Gloria was also asked to be a host and guide for dignitaries visiting LDS church leadership.
Gloria’s deepest personal inclinations, though, were artistic and inward-looking. She was a talented pianist and composer. Her children often fell asleep to the sound of mom singing and playing the piano for her own enjoyment, late into the evening.
Gloria had a rich contemplative life and encouraged her children and others to pursue theirs. During the 1980s, in the calm between the storms of MX and business development, Gloria became deeply involved in Jungian psychology. Intuitive and empathic herself, she began hosting evening get-togethers of like-minded friends who would talk late into the night about their inner life and their dreams. In time, Gloria began offering what today we might call dream coaching: devoted one-on-one sessions to helping people understand their dreams.
Gloria was an artist. When her kids were young, and the family would go on vacation to Newport Beach (CA), Gloria took along her oil paints and an easel. Whenever she could, she’d escape the kids, go off on her own to Laguna, and find a rock somewhere on the edge of the surf. There she’d spend an afternoon painting.
When she wasn’t painting, she and Ed would drag the kids to the art galleries of Laguna. The kids, of course, protested, preferring to play in the sand or visit the eateries on Balboa Island or the shops at Fashion Island. But they went anyway and soaked up the experience, which would be repeated, with similar protests and acquiescence, with the next generation. Her son, Ed Jr., eventually decided to become an artist himself-an outdoor photographer. Now he was the one going off to Laguna to find a rock on the edge of the surf.
Whatever it was that fired the imagination and passion of her children, Gloria was there to support them: Zina, in her dancing and nursing career; Sarah, in Chinese medicine; Jon, in gymnastics, business, and astrology; David, in his love of the outdoors. There was no ONE paradigm; no ONE right way to do things, other than to be oneself. Nor was there judgment. Although Gloria grew up LDS, and remained LDS throughout her life, she accepted her children’s determination to go their own different ways, with love and support. As various children “came out” as gay, bisexual, or polyamorous-as whatever the wyrd they were-Gloria loved them and found room for them in her way of looking at the world. She did the same with each of the partners her children chose, welcoming them into the family as if they were her own.
Gloria and Ed separated in 1989. Despite their many adventures together, and perhaps in part because of too many adventures (too much strain, TOO MUCH busyness), they found themselves at the end needing different things and unable to reconcile the differences. No such separation is clean or painless. But the two partners in some ways never ceased to be partners. To the end of their days, each helped the other, whatever the differences, whatever the personal pain. Ed passed away in 2020. Those who enjoyed the privilege of loving association with these two remarkable human beings would like to think that perhaps at last all differences are reconciled, and that the loving fellowship that began, wherever it began, continues.
Gloria is survived by seven children, thirteen grandchildren, and five great children. She also leaves behind three surviving siblings: Ruth Ann Paramore (Jack), Dorothy Deaver, and Glen Paramore (Trisha). Two siblings preceded her in death: James Paramore (Helen) and Keith Paramore (Norma).
Graveside services will be held at 12:30 pm, Friday, June 17, 2022 at the Eastlawn Memorial Hills Cemetery, 4800 North 650 East, Provo, Utah. Condolences may be expressed at www.bergmortuary.com.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to the Utah Food Bank. Gloria loved to cook and to host meals for those she loved. Well wishers can pass that love forward by helping others in need.
Published by Berg Mortuary of Provo on Jun. 14, 2022.
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