Editor’s note: This story is about suicide. If you or someone you know is at risk of harming themselves, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline offers 24-hour support at 1-800-273-8255.
More than 150 people gathered for a candlelight vigil on Saturday evening in support of the BYU LGBTQ community in Salt Lake City.
The “Bury Your Weapons” vigil was organized in response to a speech by Jeffrey Holland condemning BYU faculty and students who advocated LGBTQ issues on campus. Holland, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles for Latter-day Saint Church of Jesus Christ, spoke out against what he described as “divisive” rhetoric, including a 2019 closing address in which BYU graduate Matt Easton identified himself as turned out to be gay. He also urged church members to direct their metaphorical “musket fire” at those who oppose the teachings of the church.
Many in the LGBTQ community have vigorously opposed Holland’s remarks, saying that they are endangering an already vulnerable group. According to The Trevor Project, LGBTQ teens are almost five times more likely to commit suicide than straight teens. Historically, Utah has higher suicide rates than most of the United States – according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, only five states had higher suicide rates than Utah in 2019.
Others fear that Holland’s words could encourage aggressive behavior towards members of the LGBTQ community. In the days following Holland’s speech, a man was seen uttering homophobic slander in a widespread social media video in Provo while defacing a sidewalk pride ad. BYU has since announced that it will condemn the behavior and investigate the situation.
As people gathered in City Creek Park, just across from the church office building, organizers handed out rainbow-colored face masks and candles. Before the vigil, people were able to submit their personal experiences of being queer to an online forum to be showcased during the event. The certificates were printed out and posted on signs along State Street.
“I’m not a threat to any family or union,” a sign read. “You don’t need to defend yourself from me.”
“I can choose not to be a Mormon,” says another. “I can’t choose not to be gay.”
Another simply read: “No member of the LDS Church has taken his or her life away from the words of the LGBT community.”
Easton, whose closing speech was highlighted by Holland, led a group of queer students who turned in front of the crowd on Saturday night. Easton told the story of a fellow BYU student who took his own life after coming out as gay.
“Since I’m 20 years old and the first gay person I knew at BYU took my own life, it was hard for me not to see myself in it,” said Easton. “It was hard for me not to feel that if I ever got out, if I ever lived authentically or shared my truth, I would be driven to go there.
“It’s a dark place. And I know that I’m not the only one who was there. “
Easton said he felt inspired by the Spirit of God and realized that he could use his platform to try and make BYU a more inclusive place.
“We have a place,” he said. “We are part of it. In places like BYU … they not only learn to tolerate us, they need us. They need our voices, our ideas and our creativity. That makes a community beautiful. “
Following Easton’s remarks, the microphone was given to any queer person who wanted to share their thoughts or experiences.
“Love doesn’t divide,” said Kris Irvin, speaking at the vigil. “Love is unity. In 2013 Elder Holland gave a lecture at general conference called “Like a Broken Vessel”. I want Elder Holland to know that so many of us are broken vessels because we are constantly being shot at with your musket fire. “
Ryan, a former BYU student, said he moved to UVU and went to school there last week.
“My therapist actually attempted conversion therapy for me while I had dedicated my life to serving the Lord as a full-time missionary,” he said. “I know that God didn’t want this for me because I know that my creation was not a mistake. I know we are all here for a reason and that reason is to share our light with the world. If you are part of this LGBTQ community, you are perfect. “
“The God I believe in wouldn’t make me be alone,” said another speaker, who identified himself as non-binary. “I want to remind people like Elder Holland… that while your musket fire is metaphorical, its danger to our lives is still very real. It still has an impact on our safety and wellbeing. For those who are still in the closet … there is a community here and they are strong. “
A transgender student currently attending BYU told The Review that he would like to see a culture change at the university, but he’s not sure if it will happen anytime soon.
“To be honest, I don’t know if it is realistic to have hope of change,” they said. “I think the comments that were made were very distasteful, especially when [Holland] referred to gun violence. Current students at BYU, we know what the attitudes are, and being hit with such comments all the time is hurtful. They made their point of view clear, if they could give that up for a while it would be great. “
Another former BYU student said she was involved in a leadership role at Understanding Sexuality, Gender and Allyship (USGA) while undergraduate. She said the advocacy group had urged to meet on campus even though it is not affiliated with the university.
LGBTQ students and church members can turn to Mormons Building Bridges, Provo Pride, Utah Pride Center, and Encircle Together for resources and support. The UVU’s LGBT student service also offers advice, support groups and community activities.
Editor-in-chief
Bridger Beal-Cvetko is a junior at Utah Valley University, where he is studying journalism. He has been with The Review since 2019, where he covered the UVU men’s basketball team and softball team while serving as a sports editor. Bridger also worked as a producer for ESPN 960 AM. Sports aside, Bridger is a passionate cinephile and loves reading fantasy and science fiction novels.
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